Thursday, June 13, 2013

Procrastinating and Goodbyes

Right now I will do anything, and I mean anything to procrastinate.  It is getting bad.  The two areas of my life I just cannot tackle are packing and goodbyes.  The movers come at 8:00am.  I have not packed a box all week.  I have officially said goodbye to 1 person.  Everyone else it is, "oh, I'll se you again, I'm not leaving until next week."  Which means, I technically have A LOT of people to see on Monday.  Oye.  Here's the thing, for the past two weeks, tears have been just waiting to break free.  Yet strangely, I have only really cried once.  And it was not pretty.  I just don't know how to give people that last hug.  I don't know how to look into someone's eyes for the last time (at least for a while.)  So I procrastinate it.  But, every day gets a little harder.  Because I know it is coming.  I have played through driving away in my head so many times.  One last stop at Common Grounds, one last stop at my spot, the Sadie Jo Black Gardens on campus.  It is creeping up on me.  It is going to be harder than I have imagined.  It's the reason I cannot say goodbye.  It is the reason I cannot get up and pack those last few things.  It makes this official.  And yes, I KNOW that God has called us to this.  But I also KNOW that I love this town.  I will always credit Atlanta for raising me.  But, this town molded me.  I became me here.  I love everything about it (except the horrible radio). I love the streets, I love the feel, I love the heat, I love lake Waco, I love Baylor, I love the loyalty.  I love it.  I love my friends, I love my mechanic, I love my doctor, I love that I see people I know all over the place.  I love the bear trail, I love HEB, I love the wheat fields and the corn fields, I love kolaches.  For the past year, I expected this move and I have been doing my best to soak it all up.  Problem is, that just made me love it more.  And now  I can only procrastinate this goodbye for so long.  Warning: if you talk to me next week... I am going to be a hot mess.  I am thankful for Wayne's wise words to Stephen, "moving makes women crazy."  It is true.  

I must get to it.  It's time to go down the track.  I can only hope and pray that one day God brings us back here.  And maybe my sweet PreK kids will be in 5th grade and I can step back into their lives.  Oh, how I will miss them all.  

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